Kansans scare me. It ain’t because they’re such dirt farmers or creepy backwoods hillfolk or anything like that. They’re quiet. Too quiet. Too nice. They’re ready to explode at any minute, and being their border neighbors to the north, we have to defend ourselves against the impending attack from the Sunflower State.
Not only is “harvesting” ditchweed hard work, it’s damn time consuming because you have to find it when no one else is around. It’s like a High Times scavenger hunt.
Iowa and Nebraska really are similar as far as the land itself goes and what is grown from it. But, if brothers can go kill each other in the Civil War, Rufus reckons he can muster up enough courage to trash Iowa the way God intended.
I never spent much time in Arkansas or West Virginia, but I reckon none of these states hold a candle to the fart that is Missouri.
Oh pity thee, Wyoming and thy Cowboy Mafia. Even an old lump of coal could be a diamond someday – but not you, of course. Wyoming has so much going against it that you can only pray for the land’s eternal soul.
the-statretriot2In our last episode, The Stateriot and his sidekick, Cocky, found themselves trapped in Wyoming, discovered during a reconaissance mission by a member of the Cowboy Mafia. Only one man can come to their rescue: Dane Cook.
